Hello my beautiful flames.
As always, I hope you are well.
What I am focused on this week is letting everyone know my exact pain levels so people can leave me alone. As a black woman with Lupus, I tend to keep all my pain inside and try to remain present in the moment. On days like today, after I've painted a room, gone to the store, cooked dinner for myself & its raining, today, I have to do NOTHING. Even trying to blog right now is painful with my fingers as swollen as they are.
(pause 3/28/23 7pm)
6/29//23 5:07pm
Understanding Level 7 on the Pain Scale: Distracting.
If not for the pain and the pressure needed to apply to items to get stuff done, stuff would get done. But instead I stare at the things that need to be done because doing them is literally going to cause physical pain, not factoring the mental anguish of guilt for NOT doing the things.
I don't understand "Going to the Gym."
Right now, there is the simple struggle of knowingI need to go 12ft to reach an ice pack for my shoulder, but not wanting to endure the pain of walking those 12 ft to the potential momentary relief provided by said Ice Pack. There is currently a thunderstorm on the way and all the Barometric pressure or whatever is affecting my body. Its not fun to be affected by things that haven't happened yet. Not to mention that the air pressure sucks and there is literally something on fire around the corner.
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